Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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