Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
