If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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