I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
