You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's just like the Real World with babies
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
