he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize