If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just google imaged poop.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
