i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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