nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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