Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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