How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
