Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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