I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
