they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
