Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
