You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
