the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
