Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize