Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Found the puke drawer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
