You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize