She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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