God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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