THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
