Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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