He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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