thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
