ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
