Sry I called you an 8
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize