I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
