you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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