Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
