My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
