yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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