Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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