Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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