This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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