How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
