Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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