Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize