I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
