everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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