i just made my gag reflex go away.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
