i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
is it fun? or sober?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
