The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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