its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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