Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
