his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
