Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
