I haven't been this sober since birth.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
