How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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