you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
