don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
