Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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