I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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