just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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