i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
