You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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