dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
