So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
