Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You can't motorboat a personality
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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