Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
