yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
